So, I don't mean to brag... okay, maybe I do just a wee bit, but I came across this word playing Cranium a few weeks ago and totally guessed the definition right. Anyways, I think that beyond the simple definition of this word is an entire idea that I have been trying to wrap my head around for ten years. Take that back. Since birth probably. It's not that I've been shunning light itself, at least not intentionally, (although I was probably the palest kid after any summer's break due to my lack of contact with the sun as I read book after book in funny contorted positions in random corners of my house) but it's that sometimes I shun light in the form of people: human companionship.
So I totally went on this huge pointless spiel a couple months ago to a good friend of mine. I spoke of trying to avoid being overly social and getting no peace-embracing and self-discovering solitude and then spoke of the opposite: being totally lazy and antisocial, not willing to put forth the effort to be vulnerable and connect with people. I spoke of the elusive balanced life. Although thinking out loud to one of my few uber trusted sounding boards was satisfying, it was also frustrating. What was frustrating was that I did actually have a point, which I never got to. Even when I brought up the subject of balance, and even my neglect of having a conclusion, with my friend a week later, I still forgot to finish my idea! Balance is not only elusive in practice, but also in intent. I was on this mental and verbal journey, speaking my thoughts, hoping to eventually get to the point that (yes, I am about to get there!) the purpose of life is people! Not all people, all the time, but connections with them - including a connection with self.
Life should be the antithesis of being lucifugous.
I like this. I like you.
ReplyDeletethanks meryl! thanks for being a light. :)
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