Living independently of life...

It's quite paradoxical- living independently of life. Cloistering myself off from friends and nature to put my nose in a book, I am studying life instead of living it. Do I really want to sacrifice relationships for A's? Do I want to sacrifice my emotional well being for my intelligence? I think I would rather live a simpler life full of love than one where I make my head grow, but allow my heart to shrink. I want to hug lots of people instead of holding my head in my hands as I try to make my brain memorize more. Right now I want to actually take on the mountains instead of learning about mountain ecosystems and human body systems. I want to live on my best friends' couch, playing guitar, writing poetry and sleeping in after long, late night movie marathons and life discussions. I want to go on a long walk to nowhere and leave bits of my soul everywhere, replacing me with everything I see, smell, touch, taste, hear, and remember to believe.

Chocolate chips like salsa...

I'm the kind of girl who doesn't like coloring in the lines the first time. I paint my toenails and have to erase all the mistakes. I eat chocolate chips scooped up on pretzels like salsa on chips. The wind makes me feel movie star-esque, beautiful and alive. I am a tie-dyed soul and wannabe musician, earthy and earth conscious. I have a whale poster, save the planet T-shirt, and a dream catcher. My kind of jewelry is the pony tail holder on my wrist. I am not above committing flower murder for my own selfish desires. I love climbing trees, walking barefoot and tilting my head up to the rain instead of down. Green is my favorite color and purple is for healing and comfort. I think sunshine smells like freshly mowed grass and dirt. I dance when no one is looking and sing for the world out my window. I steal your laughter and catch phrases and have conversations with you in my head. I remember too much and do to little. I have recently found new meaning in the quote, "the pain of discipline is less than the pain of regret." Sometimes the regret isn't from lack of discipline, but from being too disciplined to live a little. I am a fan of planned spontaneity, however oxymoronic. I like surprises, but not being scared or caught unprepared. When I walk on busy streets I bee-bop cause no one can hear. Sometimes I almost miss the walk signal, because I am too busy watching the world. I love holding and being held and I still sleep with my teddy bear.

Hazy Hypotheticals

don't live out hazy hypotheticals
don't let your thoughts fall to fearful dreams
when you think in the negative
your feelings over rule reality
and things are never as they seem
take a breath
wake up
and let things be