"How insecure and vain we humans be..."

How insecure and vain we humans be.

Our flaws and imperfections all we sometimes see.

Incapable of putting endless wants aside to fill our basic needs,

we forget - on this continual quest

that we must choose our own peace and light and happiness.

These are things we cannot find,

when by the world we have been blinded.

A grander vision exists than being absorbed in self and worldliness.

We must neglect feelings of being only second best

and preoccupations with what we possess and how we dress.

Trade them in for contentment with the lives we live and who we are

See beyond the world, our footstool - to the skies

for we need dreams as we need stars.

To be the stars of our own lives

we need a little starlight in our eyes.

To truly see -

we need love of life as is

and goals to share and give.

Written on Christmas day 2009, this was my rebellion against getting what I call "the gimmies" and watching the world not understand what truly matters. Since then more nuances have come to my attention about how we need to not just resist worldliness in physical things, possessions adn appearances and such, but also in our self-opinions. I am currently reading a book entitled The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown. So far it is really good. I am learning a lot and intend to blog more about it later. But I highly suggest watching her lecture on Ted.com. Here is the link:

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

Water source

God has an immense love for you

and it is evidenced in the impossible-

A source of patience that trickles through the cracks in my heart

and flows out in little loving gestures

I am prompted to do to reach out to you.

Even though you pull away in pain,

my heart aches as much for you as it does for me

and the water keeps on coming.

Sometimes I try to stop the flow

I ignore your need and struggles,

selfishly seal up the fissures with my fear,

but around my will, the water goes.

Sometimes I feel the source is dwindling,

and patience only comes drop by drop.

But each one comes straight from heaven

as God erodes the stubborn pieces of my heart of rock.

Nighttime thoughts

I need to stop thinking my deepest thoughts at night.
I am sinking ever deeper into darkness; forgetting light.
I come full circle starting again where I begun.
Now paving the trail I blazed before, I try to color in the lines.
It's hard to retrace thoughts that made no sense the first few times.
I hope to fall off the path and into sleep's welcoming arms.
I'd much prefer sweet fiction from my dreams
to this middle state where I can't distinguish reality from how things seem.
I wish I could see the truth through the confusion in my heart and head.

I don't remember when I wrote this. I just found it in a notebook of mine with all sorts of doodles, lists and poems. This is so very true of my life though, because I always try to think through important and confusing things at night when I really don't have a clear perspective of things.