As a person I've drawn a line
there's this black and white figure I've tried to define
I placed a circle around about me
that I thought I would not and could not ever want to escape
but I've crossed it
time after time
and this heart that I thought was red and alive and mine
is actually journeying through a world of gray
where I've lost the desire to stay within the bounds I've set
the shadows bring dimension
and yet
what I thought were universal rights and wrongs
fell prey to those long shadows
I cannot judge others by my lines and shapes and colors,
but it's hard to ignore
that the self-enclosing circle is now an undirected squiggle
and I think my heart is hidden in the stringy squiggly mess
what I thought might be a little humanity and freedom
ended up becoming a test I've yet to pass
do I fill in random bubbles
or do I do all I can
to lift my face
feel the sun
fight hard the battle waging within-
this battle of defining lines and sin.
About Me
- Emily
- I want to be an author, a photographer, a song writer, a poet, a chocolate bar, a cure to someone's heart ache and the first rain drop to land on your head reminding you to look heavenward. ~*~*~ I love you, and when I'm not with you I miss you. ~*~*~ Hugs are my lifeline, and rain heals my soul. ~*~*~ As soon as I figure out what it is I want, I can guarantee I'll reach for it on tip toe, but as for now? Maybe I should just jump.
Thanks for your comment on my post, Emily! For a moment I didn't remember who you were- lucky for your picture!
ReplyDeleteAlso, thanks for this poem. It is deep and I'm saving it. Who wrote it? It adroitly captures some internal conflicts I have and do experience, largely as a consequence of learning and thinking. I've written about some similar concepts illustrating the surprising and often unpleasant transition from black and white to gray. (http://bradcarmack.blogspot.com/2010/02/intention-faith-and-net-consequence.html, http://bradcarmack.blogspot.com/2010/02/i-support-heterosexual-members-of-lds.html, http://bradcarmack.blogspot.com/2010/03/carmack-vector-addition-theory-of.html, http://bradcarmack.blogspot.com/2010/02/believe-what-you-want-to-believe-truth.html, http://bradcarmack.blogspot.com/2010/01/it-pays-to-be-stupidnaiveignorant.html, http://bradcarmack.blogspot.com/2010/01/divine-command-theory.html, http://bradcarmack.blogspot.com/2010/01/god-of-gaps.html, http://bradcarmack.blogspot.com/2010/01/playing-god-slippery-slopes-and-fallacy.html, http://bradcarmack.blogspot.com/2010/02/play-new-track-jiminy-cricket.html). I'm not sure if I'm glad that transition mostly occurred after my mission, as the consequences of living in a world of shadowy grays has both external (gospel outreach) and internal (defining lines and sin) consequences.
Thank YOU! I am glad that you liked the poem. I actually wrote it. I write a poetry to help me work through my thoughts. I am definitely looking forward to reading through the posts you shared with me.
ReplyDelete